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‘News’ per se is a funny old thing. I daily scan a number of national and in particular local news sources, be they in good old fashioned ‘hard print’ or through the medium of t’interweb et al. I don’t know whether it is because of the latter, be it via computer or TV we are becoming ‘hardened’ to some of the stories we see and hear, that our behaviour is trending towards the ability to become less shockable. Or, there may be other forces at work which I as a mere amateur have simply overlooked however, at a local level we allow to creep in what would at a national level be regarded as the ‘inane’. For example a local regional news provider has chosen to present its audience this week with two items which presumably to the reporters’ initially must have sounded newsworthy namely a) the collection of 200 “dog poo samples in 2 hours” and b) a Cambridge don (why isn’t it ‘donness’ for a woman?) standing beside an almost full size nude painting of herself with said painting leaving nothing to the imagination (depilatory cream optional if you get my drift!). The national bug of ‘dumbing down’ has obviously hit local journalists hard and fast where ‘the sun don’t shine’ in the last week. Now don’t get me wrong, I for one like a bit of ‘toilet humour’ like the next man that is, so long as the next man isn’t gathering dog faeces like it’s going out of fashion to prove a point in a Blue Peter style of representation to get a point over. In the case of Blue Peter they used double decker buses if my memory serves me right and not the combined sum of the evacuated contents of canine stomachs. In this day and age where the media is so prudish about mostly everything, why then by standing a ‘clever’ person next to a nude painting of herself leaving nothing to the imagination (no pixels upstairs or downstairs!) does that become acceptable? I Sir (and Madam) am yours truly, Confused of Ely.

Not confusing is Michael at Ely Computers who kindly sent us another example of LNER’s poster campaign promoting a visit to Ely to see the magnificent Cathedral. As usual this and the following contributions can be seen by visiting the Your Ely Facebook page. It is certainly worth a look.

As we all know the ladies at Sew Much To Do are real experts when it comes to Quilting. They recently sent us examples of two very different Quilting Methods; folded patchwork and foundation pierced; both of which can be learnt at their wonderful workshops.

We at Your Ely had a chuckle to ourselves at this next exhibit sent in to us. We thought you would be amused by this envelope which was received by the Price Bailey Office in Cambridge; addressed to Christ Bailey & Partners!!! Nice to know that next to Godliness is not only cleanliness but also Accountancy!

The Team at Tindalls kindly sent us this wonderful painting “Spirit of the Fens” which captures beautifully the landscape of the Fens. It was painted by Caroline Furlong, one of a team of very talented artists who offer demonstrations at Tindalls.

On this artistic note I feel I must get up and go outside and invent some news at a local level. I intend to count the uneven distribution of muntjac Richard the Thirds around the back of my residence (sounds grander than house doesn’t it?) whilst cavorting nakedly through my ever expanding and fragrant bush of wisteria as it dangles invitingly over my hickory fencing – ooh er missus, that’s a none news event if ever I heard one!